Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked. “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied.

–Parallel verses:
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭21‬-‭22‬
[Jesus speaking]
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.”

Throughout my career (banking first, then commercial insurance), I have wrestled with anger. Part of this has been due to how I dealt with injustice and the perceived trampling of my rights. I have a mind that can quickly come to solutions and a confidence that can feel that there is “one right way”. Another way to say it is I can quickly fall into being arrogant and run over people along the way to accomplishing my goals. God has also given me great gifts I can bless others with, if I choose to use them.

I have found that action, without the right mindset, leads to big messes in relationships. I have been exhibit number one in this respect in the past.

Around 10 years ago, this approach started to change for me. It started when I went into a weekend lock-in program to deal with the root issues of the things that were holding me back in life. And anger, detachment, leaving situations early before they resolved, etc. — all of these symptoms mostly had a root fear. For me this fear was The Fear of Rejection. Once I realized this fear was playing in the background of my mind, I could work through the issues with God and overcome its impact on my actions.

As I look at Saul, I see some similar traits. This is how Saul was described before his conversion: “If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.” (‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3‬:‭4‬b-‭6‬)

He excelled in legalistic righteousness, placing all of his confidence in his ability to perform above the rest. Life by comparison is an exhausting way to live, and no fun.

And this was how Jesus found him before the “bright light” on the Damascus road.

But Jesus did something for Saul (soon to be renamed Paul) that is remarkable: he saw past his sin, his anger, his torture of the early church … he saw a bright future with him surrendered to his Lordship. And he reached out to redeem his soul.

And in doing this, he set an example for all of future mankind: no one is outside the reach of the Love of God, no matter how bad their sins have been. No one is disqualified by past sin alone. He loves us all and wants us to return to him. He is the creator and designer of our lives, and he has great plans for us, just like he did for Saul.

Lord, thank you for the example of your love for big sinners such as Saul and me. You care more about our potential for good than our past sins. Thank you that you love me and rescued me from my sin. Go before me today and help me to shine your good fruits into a world hungry for real love!