A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.
When the wicked thrive, so does sin, but the righteous will see their downfall.
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.
Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.

Discipline has gotten a bad rap in the past 20 years or so. I think this was largely a combination of a couple of things: a hardcore focus on only spanking by some churches in the 1970s, and a lot of self-help books that have discouraged discipline and encouraged giving children lots of choices at an early age.

As a father of five, training children in discipline is a lifelong challenge and I am constantly learning. The idea of discipline in the Bible is a much broader discussion than any one tool. It focuses on respect for authority, obedience, moral compasses, and what is right and wrong. The Bible does talk about spanking and for good reason, it can be an effective tool. It also talks about not exasperating kids, or always focusing on the negative.

The goal of discipline is to raise children who respect and honor God and live a life of honesty, truth, and right living. So the approach needs to first and foremost be to instruct, model, and participate in being honest, truthful, and doing what is right. No discipline system will work that preaches: “Do what I say, not what I do.” And discipline is not just enforced but it is also modeled.

We should be asking questions like: Do I live in a disciplined and self-controlled manner? How do I manage making mistakes and accepting the consequences of those mistakes? Will I be humble and ask for forgiveness when I am wrong?

These passages serve as a guide and a warning to us: discipline your children so they will bring you peace and not disgrace. Seek out correction and instruction to become wise. Don’t demand others to see you as wise, and don’t be wise in your own eyes.

At our home, each child has different motivators. We use spanking as one of the worst disciplines, and tend to assign books to read or chores to do for discipline measures. Sometimes, technology drives attitudes, so a technology fast or break can be healthy for both adults and kids. Memorizing truth in the Bible reinforces goodness in our mind and can allow the Holy Spirit to change our sinful hearts more from the inside out.

Lord, thank you for this passage on discipline. You made discipline to help us learn the best way to live. Help me to be thoughtful in how I discipline, so that I am motivating and modeling the best ways, along with correcting and dealing out consequences. May I be humble, so my kids know I am not perfect and make mistakes too.