Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer.

--Parallel verses:
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭15‬-‭17‬
If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

It is difficult to see a brother or sister wander from the Lord. And the passages on correcting the brother must be understood in context of the whole Bible.

I grew up in a church that focused on the don'ts and was very legalistic. I had a small group leader in high school and he and I were very close. One day he came to me and admitted that he and his fiancée had sex before marriage, and she was pregnant. The proceeded to quickly get married. They went to the church and repented of this sin, but the church leaders excommunicated them. This is in stark contrast to what we are called to do here in the Bible. The man came to me and said they had to go to a different church. The leaders could have done a number of things, the first of which is to display God’s grace. They could have even pulled him out of leadership to heal. Instead, they took the easy way out and condemned him, though he was repentant.

The point here is that we all sin and need to keep short accounts. When someone will not correct the course of their sinful life in disobedience to the Lord, then there is a process to bring them back to a healthy relationship with God. And it is a four-step process: 1) Approach the brother (or sister) directly in the area of sin, 2) if unrepentant, take two or three witnesses, and 3) if still unrepentant, bring the church leaders. 4) If they fail to repent of the sin, the church will treat them as a pagan or someone outside the church.

The goal is repentance and if unrepentant, their eventual restoration. But this is, in part, up to them. This is not permission to gossip about them, bad-mouth them, or make their life miserable. We are simply to treat them as we would any other unbeliever — showing them the love of Christ.

This is difficult if this person has harmed us by their actions. But it is the high excellence standard in loving the unlovable we are called to. We are not to treat them as an enemy, but as a brother who has lost their way. Pray for them. Love them. Serve them.

Lord, thank you for this great passage that encourages us to treat those who reject our faith (in part or in whole by continuing in sin), like Jesus would have and in his time did. Love can win over hearts. Truth calls us to obedience to Jesus Christ. Together they are a powerful forces to correct and restore those who are lost.  However, it is ultimately their choice to follow and sacrifice their worldly pleasures for the cross.