While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head. Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.

--Parallel verses:
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭4‬:‭5‬-‭6‬
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Lately, I am excited to share that God is opening up my ears wider … wider to hear people’s heart first and more completely. When this is done, I hear and learn more and make fewer baseless assumptions.

In the last week I have met with: a) a retired man who was former law enforcement, b) a man who is super sharp and in the tech space, who is gracious with his time with me, and c) with a woman who was nice, talented and connected, and I wasn’t sure, at first, why we were meeting.

In all of these instances, I was tempted to make assumptions about each person that would have proved to be false and made it challenging to get to know them. But instead, only by God’s grace and patient work in my heart, I listened and asked more questions. I learned more about who they are and how I could encourage them and be a blessing. And in turn, they also encouraged me!

The disciples had a choice here. They could have gotten to know this woman, had compassion on her, and asked good questions to determine why she was pouring perfume on Jesus. Instead, they assumed they knew the answer, accused her of waste, and totally missed her heart motive.

It is highly possible that this woman was Mary, the sister of Lazarus, as referenced in John 12. The recording of the two instances in two different gospels seem too similar to me to assume otherwise. Listen to what Judas, one of the twelve disciples, said to Mary in John 12:5: “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.”

And then the next verse tells us more about his motivation: “He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.” (‭‭John‬ ‭12‬:‭5‬-‭6‬). When sin enters into our hearts and dwells there, we accuse others, slandering them without grace, maybe to take the attention off of us. Or sometimes we may do this to justify our own actions, just like Judas may have said this and in his heart justified his stealing from the community pot.

And apparently he was not the only one who criticized Mary, but other disciples either joined him in criticizing her or remained quiet and did not defend her. They were too caught up in their own assumptions and pride to even think about being inquisitive and gracious.

How many interactions fly by with me and I forget to be inquisitive and gracious?

Lord, continue to work on this heart of mine. It needs major surgery. I want to love and be gracious as you call me to be. Remove my, at times, critical and assumptive spirit. Free me more and more to discover the heart of those I touch in life.