Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul—an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus— that I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains.

What is the difference between a demand and an appeal? A demand is made, with or without authority, and behind the demand is typically a consequence, if the demand is not obeyed. It is typically action-based and does not deal with the heart behind the action.

An appeal is made to allow the person a choice in their decision. Paul’s request here is not only a request to do something, but a prompt to also deal with a heart issue. This heart issue may cause outward sin down the road, and is potentially sinful now.

By appealing to Philemon regarding Onesimus, Paul is not only asking him to physically receive him well, but to check and, where needed, change his heart condition to reflect Jesus in this matter. In this case, it involves forgiveness of a debt, most likely. Onesimus was a slave to Philemon, and he left and ran away. Back then, many slaves were indentured employees who owed their masters money, so they worked it off.

Given Philemon’s character, he was likely a great and kind master/employer who treated his slaves/employees well. Now we enter into this still challenging space of employee/employer relationships coupled with church relationships. In the body of Christ, all are equal in value to God and there are no slave and master situations.

So Paul is asking Philemon to forgive Onesimus of whatever wrongs he has committed as a brother in Christ. He is not asking him to re-employ him. But he is asking him to receive him as a sinner saved by grace, a transformed man. And Paul does this also, reminding Philemon of his own salvation from sin.

Remembering the depth of depravity from which each of us came is key for us to begin the steps to forgive and reconcile with each other. When I finally recognize the depths of evil that my life-controlled-by-sin was trapped in, then I also must recognize the amazing effort it took Jesus to save me, forgive me, and reconcile me to God. This, in turn, makes it easier for me to forgive and reconcile with those who also have hurt me.

Lord, thank you for this first step Paul lays out for Philemon in the process of forgiving and reconciling. We must receive the repentant sinner with grace and love! Teach me to be increasingly gracious and loving!