November 16, 2025

A New Outlook on a Troubled Relationship - ‭‭Philemon‬ ‭1‬:‭15‬-‭19‬

Daily Devotionals

A New Outlook on a Troubled Relationship - ‭‭Philemon‬ ‭1‬:‭15‬-‭19‬

by
Joe Anderson
November 16, 2025

Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother.
He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord. So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self.

Have you ever been rescued from certain death or a major painful or abusive event? Or maybe you have rescued someone you know?

I was reminded of a time my cousin saved me from falling when he was in tow last time I saw him. It happened when I was very young, so I don’t think I totally remember it.

I do remember reaching a grandson of a family friend who was at the bottom of a pool. These are things as adults you do not forget. They are etched in our memories. I can still remember the call out for this little boy, quickly handing my baby son to my older son in the shallow end, then diving to the deep end. I remember every stroke until I grabbed this boy at the bottom of the pool and raised him up to the side of the pool.

Paul remembers this kind of a moment here. And I like the way Paul brings up this truth. He does not do it to gain some favor for himself, but to bring about a reconciliation that needs to happen for both of these men and the health of the church (as Philemon is in leadership).

Paul first references that there may be a bigger purpose and a greater reason than just shaking hands and making up. He references a man whose heart has been surrendered to Christ. Onesimus was selfless in his help of Paul, and Paul knows without a doubt he will be a model of an “others first” mindset in Philemon’s church. Second, he points out that Philemon should value him as God does, as a man God loves and has a heart for, and as a brother in Christ. Things have changed since their last interaction, and Paul is trying to get Philemon to recognize the change instead of holding onto the status of being wronged.

And finally, to help Philemon understand how important this is to Paul, who is imprisoned for the sake of Christ, who saved Philemon’s life, and who loves him deeply, he says he will pay whatever is owed to Philemon by Onesimus. What a weighty statement.

Sometimes I think of people I know who are wrestling with forgiveness, and I wonder if there is anything I could do to help them see forgiveness is a get-out-of-jail-free card? I wonder if they understand the rich treasures to be found in reconciliation with others? I want it so badly for them, I would almost offer to pay them to see it happen!

Lord, you have worked on me in my unforgiveness and anger in relationships time and again. And you also want me to challenge others here too. Freedom is found and true living abounds, when forgiveness is given and reconciliation causes friendships to rebound!

Inspirations? Take-aways? Personal Reflections?

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